The baby and the cat

This is beautiful Bagheera. He's the sweetest cat ever.

Here Ronin is, watching him. Please pardon the big bag of trash.

We've got another cat, a handsome tabby named Clyde, but he's not featured in this post. He doesn't have any time for the baby. 

But Bagheera is younger than Clyde, just fresh out of kittenhood really, and he and Ronin like to play together. Rather, Ronin wants to play with him, and they both like the same toys. 

And Bagheera's so gentle with Ronin! He stops by often, lets the baby pet his ruff, or stroke his ears, just until Ronin gets so excited that he waves his fists and squeals with glee. Then, Baggie will quietly take himself off, just out of reach. 

Bagheera loves to be admired, and he can sense he's got a real fan in Ronin. 

Crawling babies after all are like very slow, very loud, hairless kittens. Ronin can tell he's got a lot to learn from Bagheera. If only we could all be so graceful and sweet.

Handsome boy

Ain't he cute?

And here he is, eating beets! There's proof! I'm so proud. Ronin, you are a man with a mature and curious palate, and I love you for it.

A very vegan holiday

Well, it's been a busy month or so for us...

I saw the movie "Earthlings" and was blown away by it. I've changed my purchasing and eating habits as a result and now we're raising a little vegan baby. This, just in time for the holidays, so poor Vasu...I won't be cooking him a holiday roast this year. Instead, it's holiday seared tofu, or holiday beans and rice! 

Then again, we saw "Food, Inc." last night and so the tofu should probably be out, too.

Alas, this is a crazy world Ronin has entered.  At least his goofy parents love him and give him lots of kisses. Oh, and homemade baby food! I've been pureeing my face off, and Ronin's been eating it all up. So fun. He ate a puree of beets, carrots, orange, and apple, and he's had all sorts of lentils and split peas and sweet potato and broccoli and banana. He can drink fruit smoothies from a straw.  He seems game for pretty much anything so far! I'll take it while I can.

We're heading to Atlanta next week for holidays with my mom and stepfather and sister and her family...safe travels to you, all of Ronin's friends, if this holiday season finds you hitting the road. May you all enjoy the peace of the season...may all creatures enjoy the peace of the season.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am grateful that Ronin is growing little tiny bunny teeth and starting solids.

I am grateful that he's so happy and healthy and beautiful.

I am, in fact, filled with gratitude these days. I spent all day yesterday trying to be extra-aware of all there is to be grateful for. We live in such abundance! It feels very nice to be a little family of three people and two cats, and for that, I'm most grateful.

Little grabby crawly hands

In case you wonder, hey Caroline, why no posts again for a few weeks?

Check out these pictures. There's a set of lightening-fast, wet, drooly, crawling-around-grabby hands that are constantly, constantly on the move in this house.

It's my job to watch over them and make sure they don't get us into too much trouble.

I never knew infants were so tactile!

These hands bang tables and floors, they grab things and shove them in Ronin's mouth, and they really love to chuck things on the ground.

They are proudly featured here. 

Welcome, John Fred Wood IV!

Yesterday my sister had this gorgeous baby, and he is the fourth in a line of wickedly smart men.

Welcome, little John! It'll be so fun to see you and Ronin grow up together: little cousin-brothers, running around, hitting things, and yawping at the top of your lungs. 

In praise of Daria

So many people have been kind and loving and generous and attentive during Ronin's introduction to the world.

But I must give special thanks to Daria, my friend, who has been an incredible source of support and relief as I've transitioned into motherhood.

She set up a web site to organize our friends to cook meals for us immediately after the baby was born. She came over the day after he came home from the hospital and brought food and folded laundry and held him and she was so strong and capable. She's got 2 grown kids of her own, although she's quite young, so she's got the wisdom of a grandmother and the connection of a dear friend. It's perfect.

When Ronin was really little and having trouble gaining weight, and I was in major pain from shingles, she stayed several nights with him, doing all of his feedings, so Vasu and I could sleep. Daria gave Ronin his very first bottle (back when he would take one). She advised me to squirt breast milk in his eye to clear up an eye infection, and it worked almost instantly. 

She's come over many, many, many times and had Ronin to her house numerous times. She hangs out at our house one night almost every week so Vasu and I can go on "date night." She's the person who helped us transition Ronin to his crib, back when no one was getting more than 1.5 hours of sleep, and all was chaos, and I was loathe to kick him out of the bed.

She's certainly one of Ronin's other mothers. I hope he has many mothers and fathers in this life, people to watch over him and guide him on his way. Ronin is very fortunate to have Daria's love and support, as am I.

What would we have done without Daria? What would we do without Daria? How can we ever repay Daria? I wish everyone in the world had a Daria. 

Six month shout out

Everyone said the first three months of parenthood were hard, but I found the first six months to be quite butt-kicking.

Now I'm finally starting to enjoy it. Three cheers for having a six month old. He's cute, he's doing new things all the time, he sleeps for longer stretches, his daily schedule is way more predictable, he doesn't even poo that often anymore. He's fun to dress up, and kiss, and hug and squish. He laughs and it melts your heart. 

And I feel like I'm beginning to know what I'm doing! I'm not so alarmed by his every move anymore. At first, I felt such anxiety. It was hard to take a full, deep breath. But I'm getting more relaxed, which makes it better for all of us.

He's learning, and I'm learning, and the combination is getting to be pretty fun.

Here he is with his grandfather, Vasu's dad. Can't resist posting a naked baby picture. I'm loving all of the changes but Vasu wants to freeze Ronin in time now. He won't be a baby much longer at all!

On the move

Well, ain't this a cup of beans. Ronin hasn't shown much interest in sitting up, but this morning, as God is my witness (and who else would be, it's way too early) Ronin did his first crawling.

For about a month, he's been moving around on the floor. After mastering the pushup, he started scooting backwards, because his hands and arms were so much stronger than his legs. Then he learned that he could cover a lot more ground by rolling over laterally, so if he wants to get somewhere fast, he barrels across the room that way. Now, today, for the first time, I've seen him scoot forward, crawling after something, following it as it rolled away from him.

The "something" in question is his saline nasal spray can. He loves it. It's one of the objects that most fascinates him. Maybe because it always gets away. It's too smooth and round to really put in his mouth, and although he can grasp it, as soon as he lets it go it falls and rolls out of reach. So desirable. 

So he's started crawling after it. You just never know what's going to motivate someone in life. But how to motivate him to sit? I had these visions of Ronin's sitting quietly, playing with toys and cooing. Maybe he'd even be loud, bashing at things, but he'd be sitting there, in one place. Yet another motherhood delusion shattered. He's rolling and scooting and can't be bothered to sit. Watch out, cats! 

Perhaps that's why I've posted this picture. In this shot, Ronin is immobile, and our cat Bagheera is bigger than he is. Within just a few short weeks, things have changed so much. The cats better rest up and enjoy having their tails to themselves for just a little while longer. Little drooly wet crawly hands will soon be grabbing for fistfuls of fur. 

First food

Here it is, the main attraction, the reason for our trip to New York.

Ronin's first food ceremony!

It was a beautiful affair, with lots of friends and family and very tasty food. The thing I love about these ceremonies is their ancient and yet casual approach. This particular ceremony was about 30 minutes long, in Sanskrit, and halfway through, Ronin began to cry from hunger. 

Family members and the priest encouraged us to just go upstairs and nurse and come back when he was all set. It was great! We got up and left and the priest kept going and we came back 10 minutes later and sat back down and no one batted an eye. It is pretty cool when the star of the ceremony can leave for a little pick-me-up and return and everything's just gone on smooth as pie in his absence.

For what it's worth, though, Ronin's not really into eating solid food yet. Blech. I kind of wish he were, as I've expressed before. Nursing has not turned out to be my favorite thing. These shingles still hurt, dangit. But anyway. He won't nurse forever. Within the next six months, he'll be close to 100% onto solids. So no need to rush things along. He won't be a baby much longer, really. Toddlerhood's not too far off, and then he'll be a child, and then a tween (are boys tweens?) and off to college before we know it...

Nervous breakdown

I include this picture because I think the look on my face says it all.

Ronin barely slept in New York. In fact, he only slept through the night for one glorious week, back when we started putting him in his own room. Then he began waking again, and in New York, he woke every hour or two, and wanted to be soothed for a LONG TIME before going back to sleep.

I thought I might die.

But things are better now.

First boat ride

Ronin enjoyed his boat ride. We took the ferry from Staten Island to Manhattan and hung out for a half hour or so, shopping at a yummy farmer's market in the ferry station. Apples were in season, so we got cider and Honeycrisps and watched the sun begin to set over the water. 

All was well until the very end of the ride back to Staten Island. Ronin was having a jolly time and then the ferry's horn blew, these loud blaring honks. And his little face just crumpled, and he looked so scared and confused, and he let out this long "WAAAAH!" and it took a few minutes to calm him down. Poor little guy. 

He's a pretty laid-back character, and he usually just takes everything in, so it was pretty funny to see him reach his limit with the loud ferry honk. You just never know with babies.

First train ride

In mid-October, we went to New York for 4 days with the grandparents. The whole trip was planned around Ronin's first food ceremony. During his sixth month, he takes his first solid food, which is blessed during a gorgeous ceremony. Vasu's parents have hosted several beautiful ceremonies for us and they're always really special.

Here we are, the Friday before the ceremony, taking Ronin's first-ever train ride. He's hanging out on his grandfather, and we're boarding the train in Staten Island to take the ferry across to Manhattan. This is especially significant because Vasu loves trains so much.

Ronin's grandfather took off a 3-day weekend to spend with him, and it was great to see them together. They do simple things, just hanging out -- play drums, play with toys, sing, create beats together. I wish we lived closer to all of our family so that he could spend time with his folks more often.

Ronin loved the train, and we kept saying how nice it would be to live in New York, where we'd rarely have to trouble with a car seat...

First plane ride

We did it! We took a plane to NYC and back and it all went quite smoothly. Ronin only screamed once during both flights, and that was during the first landing. Shoot. I bet his ears hurt. 

But he was really cute and sweet and mostly nursed and slept. Here he is, playing with his monkey that his cousin Katherine gave him. He loves that monkey. It is a staple in the car seat.

Since Ronin still fully detests his car seat (he's better around town, but you get into trouble after 10-20 minutes) we've decided that plane travel is the way to go. He sleeps! No car seat! We get to drink Cokes! Well, for short trips anyway. Ones with no ground holds for hours on the Tarmac. 

So long

It's strange writing anything that's published because you never know who's reading it...or if anyone's reading it...and often the people you write it for aren't reading it but then other people, people you don't even know maybe, might read it quite regularly...

I guess that's true of anything you put out into the world. You never know who comes into contact with it. 

But I've taken almost a month off from updating this blog. Shame on me. Perhaps someone is reading it! So many wonderful and exciting and annoying and boring things have happened in the past month. I've been too tired to sit down and post updates. When Ronin's awake, we play, because if we don't, he barks. Also, he's adorable, and alluring, and I always end up glued to his side no matter what else I'm trying to do.

And when he sleeps, I read. Or sleep. Or put my feet up and stare at the wall. Or cook, or clean, or shower, or get dressed. I may even briefly reflect on the fact that there is a world outside my little baby land. Then he wakes up again, and off we go, looking into baskets, and examining the fringe on blankets, and taking long autumn walks, and blogging is no more.

But the guilt is killing me. Ronin went to New York for his first food ceremony, for the love of Pete. He spent lovely quality time with his New York grandparents and all sorts of friends and family. He rode on a plane, a train, and a boat. There are cute pictures that must be posted!

He also didn't sleep a WINK the whole time we were in New York and I almost had a nervous breakdown.

But now he's sleeping more predictably. Asleep by 7, up 2 times to nurse, awake between 6 and 7. I keep reminding myself to think of all of the other nursing mothers and babies all across the world doing the very same thing we're doing when I'm up with him at night. There's a whole world of us out there, dozing and nursing our babies.

Nursing mothers, including my friend Natalie, who had her babe 2 weeks ago! And my sister, who will have her boy very soon. 

Oh, and happy recent birthday to my stepfather Ted and to my brother in law, Trey. Happy fall to you all, whoever you are. Now it's time to post some pictures of Ronin's month of adventures. He's taken a toothless bite of the big apple, after all. 

Changing sizes

Today marked a big day for little R and me.

I shipped off two boxes full of baby clothes Ronin has outgrown to my sister and dear friend Natalie, both of whom are expecting boys in the very near future. (Natalie, is your little one here yet? Any minute, any minute!)

And I slipped into my first pair of pre-pregnancy jeans, to my utter shock and amazement. 

Well, 'slipped' is a bit of an exaggeration. Let's just say, I was able to put on and comfortably wear a pair of my pre-mama jeans, which I never would have believed even a month ago.

Ronin's getting bigger, and I'm returning to normal size.

It's exciting to watch him grow. I admit I've been floored by the responsibility of having someone be so utterly dependent upon me. Especially with breastfeeding. I thought, for some reason, that the baby would quit drawing his life from me when he was delivered from my body. But no! Why did I think that? Breastfeeding is all about the baby's drawing everything he needs from me. Like an adorable little vampire. 

I am so glad to be breastfeeding. I'd totally encourage anyone to do it. It's so rewarding on so many levels and so good for kids. But MAN it's a commitment, especially when your baby won't take a relief bottle, like Ronin. He wants mama or bust. Pardon the pun. So I've been looking forward to introduction of solid foods for some time. I keep saying, I'm ready for Ronin to sit down and eat a big steak...

But that's not the point of this post. As my mom pointed out to me in the very early days, every pound he gains is a pound I'm losing. And I had so, so, so many pounds to lose. Still have 15 to go, all of which is in belly, boobs, and arms. But my lower half has returned to normal! I can rock my old jeans with huge giant sweaters and pretend to everyone that I'm right back to my old self. It feels so good to be lightening my load. 

It will surely be something to see Ronin hit his next phase - sitting up and eating solid foods. Will I feel some relief, then, since he'll be moving away from my milk and my arms and out into the world on his own? Or will worry transmute and transform, since all sorts of accidents and troubles await out there, beyond the safety of my arms? Ah, parenthood! You are a nonstop state of readiness and alertness and surrender. 

I never knew how relaxed I was before, and sadly, I was not relaxed before. 

Grandma's visit

Ronin's grandmother, Vasu's mom, visited us this past week. Here's a shot of her enjoying a moment with her lively little grandson. While she was here, we did all sorts of fun little activities. She cooked amazing food every day, and we made small excursions to local markets, restaurants, and little shops, enjoying the mellow vibe of cozy Chapel Hill/Carrboro. 

She's back home in Chicago now and heading for her annual trip to India in November. We'll see her again next year, when Ronin's approaching his first birthday. Hard to believe how quickly the time will pass.

To market, to market...

Hey! We're a happy family! Look at us, all well rested, full of cheer, at the wholesome Carrboro Farmer's Market this morning.

We love the farmer's market. We've not been able to go much lately because I've been desperately catching up on sleep on Saturday mornings. But now we all sleep through the night, miracle of all miracles, and so we're able to set off for family fun on weekend mornings.

Ronin seemed to enjoy our buying vegetables for Vasu's mom's visit. He is always so quiet and alert and happy in his Bjorn, and he digs the sights and sounds of community events. 

Oh, and I should mention that he's wearing a bib to protect against being cold and wet from his drool, as my mom suggested. And his cap was knit by Molly Chase, my sister's lifelong best friend.

At the market, we got eggplant and okra and peppers and greens to make into curries with Vasu's mom's magic touch. She arrives today to spend a week with her grandson and will be cooking him lots of tasty Indian food. Oh, if only he could eat it! But he will -- next year. For now, he'll just get to enjoy some spicy milk, and he'll have a great time playing with his grandmother. 

We're free!

The baby has begun to sleep through the night! 

We can't believe it!

My mom, my dad, my friends, my sister, they've all told me that eventually I would tire of sleeping with Ronin and that both he and I would sleep much, much better if he had his own space. 

I thought they were all heartless monsters and that the thing to do was to keep my child close to me at night for a long, long time.

But he was waking every hour and a half and it just wasn't working for either of us. So finally my friend Daria came over and helped us put Ronin to sleep in his own crib in his own room last Wednesday night.

Vasu and I went out to dinner while she did the deed because I was so afriad he'd cry and it would be awful and I'd break out in a hot sweat and not be able to stand it.

He didn't cry at all! He fussed for a bit while getting comfortable and then drifted right off. And he slept for 11 hours straight, with no waking, no nursing, not a peep from his room all night. 

It was unbelievable. Vasu and I did not believe it. We kept waking up that first night and checking on him, listening to the silence, wondering if he was cooing for us. 

But no! We're now through the 3rd night of this miracle and it seems to be holding true for us! Ronin sleeps through the night, soundly and happily, in his own crib, in his own room. I have been freed from hours and hours of nursing and we're off duty from 7:30 pm until 6:00 a.m. 

We have a whole new lease on life.

Curfew

Here we are, at the Carrboro Music Festival last Sunday. These pictures make it look like we were the only 3 people at the whole event, but it was actually packed with people and loaded with bands of all sorts. Vasu's pictured standing in front of the high school stage -- some of the freshest music at the festival was performed there. Of course, you'd never know it from our shots.

Don't we look like a happy bunch? It was a good day and we had a lovely time strolling around the festival. But as the clock struck 7, we had to go home. Ronin skipped a nap to let us wander for hours, and that was darling of him, but his bedtime is still 7:30, regardless of the fun being had. 

As we drove home, night fell, and a gorgeous, warm, music-filled night it was, too. And I felt so imprisoned! When will I ever go out at night again? I know I will, I know Ronin's babyhood (and constant nursing) will not last forever, but I've been home every night (except for a rare few) by 7:00 since this boy was born. 

My new schedule: up by 6:00 a.m., (really, up all night), and home by 7:00 p.m. I didn't realize how free I was before! So free! I look at people whose children are grown and I think...it must be such a relief. Children grown, back to being on your own again. Ahhhhh. 

But I hear parents always worry about their children, even when they're grown, so I may have signed up for a lifetime of heaviness without even knowing it.

It ain't easy to take care of a babe, that's for sure. It's lots of things, but it's not easy. Shoot. I thought it was.

Great times with the greats

This weekend we packed up the family and stole off in the dark of night to visit Ronin's great-grandparents and great-aunt and uncle in Snead's Ferry, NC. Night travel is a necessity because Ronin loathes his car seat and howls if a trip is longer than 10 minutes. So Vasu was super-heroic and drove while Ronin slept to see the family down East.

We had a really wonderful visit with Goggie, Aunt Candy, and Uncle Kerry. It's so special to have four generations together. It really warms my heart for Ronin to play with his great-grandparents! We miss them and can't wait to visit with them again.

Visit to the Temple

Today we went to the Won-Buddhist Meditation Temple so that Ronin could meet my favorite Buddhist priests around.

We chanted and sang and meditated and ate banana bread and drank ginger tea. 

I attended the Temple for years before my pregnancy and went for regular prayers while I carried Ronin, so it was very cool to bring him there today so that he could experience it on his own. 

He absolutely loved Rev. Wongong and Rev. Ildug and the other women who were there helping them get ready for next month's Temple bazar. He was jolly and alert and peaceful the whole time. We had a great visit and will go back again next Tuesday. I'm so glad -- I've really missed going and I know it will be a wonderful influence on Ronin to be around such compassionate and loving people. 

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Today's Vasu's birthday, and even though he sometimes forgets about it, Ronin hasn't!

Happy birthday, Daddy. I'm glad I inherited your handsome good looks!

So tired

We love Ronin very much.

But he has been waking up the past few nights, fussing and crying, wanting to be bounced and held back to sleep. And just when you think he's asleep and you ease into bed, he squirms and wakes up and makes pitiful noises and it's back to the ball you go with him.

Something has got to give.

I think he's teething. He seems to be in pain. We gave him some baby Tylenol last night. He still awoke whimpering and crying over and over.

O where is the other set of parents who can come in and take over for us for a day or two? We need to get some sleep and hang out with each other, just the two of us, for awhile. I have started lining up babysitters to come play with him during the day for an hour or two but who in the world wants to come help us with 3 am duty? No one! This is our own personal hell!

Thank God he's cute. Right now, he's playing on his quilt and giving me huge smiles (why the pain only at night?) and it's hard to remember how much I wanted to chuck him a few hours ago...

Oh, and he's also starting to smell really nice. There's a very sweet baby scent that's begun wafting off of him. It's a protective measure, I know it. A fragrant aura that keeps you kissing him even though you're out of your mind with fatigue.

Motivation

In keeping with my promise to thank people for all of their sweet gifts to the baby, I dedicate this post to my wonderful Aunt Candy. Here is Ronin, inspired to roll over and scoot along in order to enjoy the beautiful quilt and quilted elephant his Great Aunt Candy gave him. I took about 500 pictures in this series and have had to limit myself to posting just a few. But they're just so cute. Look what Ronin can do! He can roll over and scoot and play with things! 

Next, he will be bringing his mother flowers. Sweet boy.